Today was a terrible, wonderful and impressive day. As I’ve said before, the MEP meeting was today. I already felt tired and weary and I knew that I wouldn’t make it to the National MEP, so I started the day a bit meh-y. Yesterday we went to the pizzeria with our commission and it was nice. Noisy and crowded, but nice. I really like this people, and that’s new for me because I’m REALLY antisocial. 

This morning, when the meeting was just about to start, somebody from my commission got a text, saying ‘I’m very sorry about your mother, my condoleances.’ And he didn’t know. She had a brain tumor, and they knew it could be over any time, but he didn’t know. He found out about his mother’s death by a text. Of course, our commission started to cry, Suzanne in particular, who lost her mother eight years ago. The meeting was suspended, he went home in some kind of haze, and we started forty minutes later than we were supposed to, all quiet and not wanting to debate anymore. 

He came back after 1.5 hours. He talked in front of sixty people, calm and still in a haze, saying it just hadn’t hit him yet— that he had worked hard for this, and wanted to do this, and wanted to make this a nice day. 

And it was, it really was. We had fun, we laughed when orators said something funny in their speeches and went ‘eeem rooook’n’, in a heavy accent which means ‘go for a smoke’, though none of us smokes, and we genuinly had a nice time. 

But I’m still an emotional wreck. You know, that burning feeling of tears behind your eyes that will just do anything to come out? Well, I’ve had that feeling for almost fourteen hours now. I don’t think I can ever forget how Jarick responded when Rik told him, his mouth dropped, and he just stared, then slowly took Rik’s hand and shook it, mouth still agape.

I didn’t even know Rik before wednesday. It’s so weird. Then again I’ve been with these people from wednesday early to today late. 

I think it’s best for me to go to bed now, sleep it off. Then, at four I have to wake up, because we’re going on holiday, to Denmark. 

I just needed to get this sorted in my head.